Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
