I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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