I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
