Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
