Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
pray to the hookup gods
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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