So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
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I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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