Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
