i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We're too hungover to prance.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
