I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
