How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
