I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
