it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
