Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
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He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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