he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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