My pussy is not your playground.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
