i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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