how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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