Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
