What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
