You made me cry and you don't even care
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
