We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
