dude i'm inner monologue high
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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