you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
