I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize