Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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