so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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