I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
