If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
