I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
