who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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