What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
