theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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