Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
