he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
