Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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