don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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