he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
