I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
