if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
