you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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