Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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