Me too!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
