4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
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Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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