Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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