He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
