scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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