They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
