she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
