i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
