the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The adults are the big ones right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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