I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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