i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
