Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
