Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
