hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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