i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
