Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
