This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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