You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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