After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
