I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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